solosater

So what you're saying is that I get stuck behind the chronically constipated?

Yep, that makes perfect sense.

marius

tee hee, Solosater ... wickedly delightful humor. Now have another medical condition to explain driving behavior ... and spouse thought he had explored them ALL! (giggle) THANKS!

Dragon

ROFLMAO solosater! There are a lot of the chronically constipated in Red Deer!

maddyjean08

You guys are just...... (sigh) ; )

marius

Okay, it's been a long day ... but just once, wouldn't it be fun to go to the doctor and instead of hearing, "Take this blue pill in the morning and at night," you'd hear ....

Therapeutic,
Elephantic,
Diagnosis,
Boom!
Pancreatic,
Microstatic,
Anti-toxic,
D oom!
With a normal catabolism,
Gabbleism and babbleism,
Snip, Snap, Snorum,
Cut out his abdonorum.
Dyspepsia,
Anaemia,
Toxaemia,
One, two, three,
And out goes He,
With a fol-de-rol-derido for the Five Guinea Fee.

[From T.H. White's, "The Once and Future King," pg 49. Merlin's spell to cure a sick fish.]

Yep - would love to hear a doctor say something like that. If only it worked!
: )

marius

Am amusing self. Here's an old Band-Aid advertisement. : )

http://www.savetz.com/bandaid/commercial1.php

marius

Don't know if this will work, but did anyone know that there is such a thing as "banana label collecting?"

http://ephemera.typepad.com/ephemera/2008/06/recently-i-asked-readers-to-suggest-stories-and-i nterviews-theyd-like-to-read-here-one-loyal-reader-wanted-to-see-an-interview-with-a-banana-lab el-collector-i-immediately-sprung-into-action-and-found-rebecca-martz-the-owner-of-a-world-cl.h tml

marius

Well, guess if you REALLY want to know you'll have to google it. : )

marius

... or, you can find out about it here .... http://www.beckymartz.com/

Dragon

I have heard of people collecting banana labels, but they're usually the people who also collect bread bag closers, twist ties, paper clips, newspapers from several decades, on and on until they're family has an intervention or they are featured on the show Hoarders. If you ever feel like your house has gotten to be an unfathomable mess just watch an episode of that show, you'll feel much better about your own house and it won't seem quite as daunting a job to start cleaning.

sheftali52

Interesting--banana labels! Did not know anyone collected those.

marius

Tee hee, Dragon. My Irish Grandmother did not collect banana labels, but when they moved her to the nursing home when she was 92 ... she had something like 6 shoeboxes full of twist-ties! She was not a hoarder though; her basement was almost entirely bare and she'd lived in that home for 35 years. Am guessing she just couldn't give up on possible uses for twist ties? : )

Dragon

My folks did some work in a house for a woman who had issues with throwing things away. She did indeed keep banana labels sticking each one to a sheet of paper. When the paper was full she'd file it away and start a new sheet. She also kept bread bag closers and when my step-dad went down to the basement for something it was filled floor to ceiling and front to back with newspapers. That place would go up like a roman candle if anything ever caught fire.

Dragon

Actually I will admit to keeping a large number of twist ties in the past. It always seemed like there was such a great number of uses for them. However I only kept the new ones you get in a box of garbage bags. Used ones went straight in the garbage.

marius

Dragon, I know a gal kind of like that. It worries her terribly but she just keeps collecting stuff. No one would guess it about her. She has a most impressive career and is delightful to be around.

marius

And now ... a silly story about our silly cat, Puck. (Or perhaps the story is about his silly staff?) Puck is part Maine Coon cat. This means he is more like a dog, fetching toys and wanting to be petted ALL the time. He cannot even meow like a normal cat. When he is upset at the neighbor cat sitting outside the window, he will howl just like a dog, or (tee hee) a smallish wolf! First time I heard him do that the hairs on my arms stood up! It was eerie!

When we got Puck, someone had already had him declawed and because of that there is no way to let him run free. This means he is doomed to be a housecat and it is hard for him. We do take him out in the backyard, sporting his red harness and leash which is then tied to a thirty foot rope. He adores his outdoor time, eats lots of grass, chases squirrels, etc., but back inside he gets bored. There is only so much space to explore in a house and then what? So, Puck "invents" things to make his life more interesting. One of his favorite things is to eat somewhere new every day. Here's how it happened.

One day he refused to eat his food. We tried to get him to eat, but no, he would not. He didn't seem sick so we could not figure out what was wrong. Finally my husband thought there was something "wrong" with the food bowl, so he put the food on the floor. Puck immediately gobbled it up. From that day on, we had to put the cat food on the floor or Puck would not eat. Then one day, Puck refused to eat the food on the floor. We feed dry food so when Puck wouldn't eat off the kitchen floor, my husband took the food and put it on the living room carpet. Yep, the cat ate with delight.

Now it is routine. We feed the cat everywhere in the house. Puck particularly likes it if you just walk around the house, maybe even go upstairs and back down, holding his food in your hand. He gets very excited wondering (maybe cats wonder, I don't know) where the food will be placed this time. It was quite a bother to do all this weird feeding at first, but Puck has managed to train us. He has even gotten us to believe that we *enjoy* this odd form of pet feeding!

The only problem is the other cat. She knows Puck eats anywhere and everywhere in the house. It confuses her, but it also delights her as Puck often leaves a few tidbits to finish off later. Well, he can't finish off his tidbits anymore as miss kittypants (her nickname) always finds his stash of morsels. The result is that she has gained weight. You'd think 4-10 morsels would not cause gain weight, but if you're eating that many extras, each and every day, they add up. And of course, who gets in trouble for the weight gain? The staff. Yes, our ever diplomatic veterinarian told us Ms. kittypants must lose two pounds. Tried explaining to our vet that Ms. kittypants "is a woman of substance," and all that got was a smile and the same instructions. Now we have a mischievous cat and a crabby cat.

And, Puck has discovered another thing he enjoys. I call it kitty-qigong. About five yrs. ago my alternative medicine doctor prescribed the practice of tapping qigong for me. I find it to be most energizing, so only do it on days where I'm feeling sluggish. Puck always watches with interest so one day I started tapping on him. Oh my - he thought it was the best thing ever. Now it's a daily ritual, and more than once a day. He does not like his legs, feet and tail to be tapped, but all the rest of his body is a go ... even the top of his head, sides of neck, stomach. He acts like he's in love when I do this to him and since he is so ga-ga for tapping, I can't resist. Site below tells about people qigong, if you want to try it on your animals - that's up to you. : )

http://www.mnwelldir.org/docs/qigong/qgsm2.htm

Dragon

LOL at the wandering feeding idea. I used to put some cat food into an empty water bottle with a hole (just big enough for the food to fall out 1 or 2 pieces at a time) cut in the side. Oscar is the only one who figured out that he could get some food by rolling the bottle around the floor. It's a cheap version of those treat balls (which my boys could never really figure out anyway).
As for your miss kittypants, maybe you could consider putting Puck's meal up on top of stuff so when she finishes off his meal she has to do a little excersize to get to it.

marius

Dragon - great idea for Ms. kittypants! She is twelve but still quite active and Puck would LOVE to eat his food up high. Not to think of where ...

Also love the idea of food in an empty water bottle! Hmmm.

Robindcr8l

So this seemed like the right forum to talk about my sensory overstimulation issues. I believe others have touched on these before here. Anyway, my issue is noise. Oddly enough, some noise doesn't bother me at all, and in fact, I can't sleep in a silent room because I get busy head. I need a TV or radio to distract the genious in me. LOL

But there are many noises that I find agitating, and some downright enraging! Work is full of these noises. I could never be an ICU nurse, because all the beep, beep, beeping would send me to the psych ward before the end of my first shift. I floated to our telemetry unit a few weeks ago, and I couldn't tell what was a phone, what was a call light, what was a heart monitor, etc. That beeping made me nuts. Fire alarms, same thing.

But worse than any beeping at work is the sound of certain nurses who snap their gum over and over and over til you want them to choke on it! What's up with the gum-snapping?? Doesn't this bother their patients, too?? I am going to start a public revolt against gum-snapping!

This morning's most annoying sound right now, though, as I am trying to wind down and go to bed after my 12-hour shift, and before tonight's 12-hour shift, is the sound of the neighbor's damned rooster! I know all of you out there are saying how glorious it is and how lucky I am to live in the heart of the city and still be able to hear a rooster crow in the morning. I am here to tell you that if I wanted to hear a rooster crow from 4 or 5am til 10am every day, I'd live on a farm. I am a city girl for a reason. I don't camp, I don't commute more than 10 minutes to work, and I don't live with crowing roosters!

OK, thanks for letting me vent. I am still crabby, but once that stupid bird shuts up I'll hopefully get some sleep.

By the way, where's solo been?? Seems like awhile since she's been on, and this is her thread I'm infringing on here!

maddyjean08

Marius, maybe she knew she'd find use for them, or maybe they're just so fun to play with. I tried making a doll out of twist ties and bubble gum, but mom made me throw it away.... I did have a lot of fun making it, though!