belladonnis

Thanks for the site. My leg doesnt do this a night, it happens during the day, for the most part. Its not painful just wierd. I wil mention it to my doctor. I just had a colonoscopy friday, and have to go for my follow up monday so I will ask him about that. They thought I had Chrons disease but thankfully I dont. I do have pretty severe Diverticulitis! Ive been reading alot about that. Any one know anything on this?

solosater

Only that it's hell to live with! Or at least it seems so to me, a friend and her father have it, they both lead very active lives and are happy and otherwise healthy but still, when it's bad it's BAD.

I know nothing about the treatment or management of Divertidulitis.

belladonnis

Yea thats the one thing Ive experienced. When its bad its BAD!!!Thanks e1!

marius

I know several folks with diverticulitis and all have done great. A matter of diet is what I've been told. : )

marius

Okay solosater - want to know more about your sensory issues with skin. Have you had them all your life? Were you one of those little kids the parents could not keep dressed? (I've met little kids like that - shed their clothes as much as possible.) Both my spouse and sister have BIG skin sensory issues. I only have them once in a while. Do others in your family have this? Is it related to health issues you have now, make the skin stuff more sensitive?

About the only skin stuff I have is that just once in a while, a certain piece of clothing will drive me "out of my skin" - until I remove it and put something else on the clothing article makes me crazy, even causing great irritatioin and anger.

marius

And ... here's another oddity - has anyone ever had dreams that came true? Or maybe dreams that gave answers to questions you've had? Or dreams that seem to explain something? Or just wacky and wild dreams?

One of my favorite dreams: My brother and I were in an art gallery. We're both birders itrw, although I was novice stage. So, we stop at a beautfiul landscape painting that has gold finches, red cardinals and bluebirds all in the same tree.

I say to my brother, "Wow - if only there was a brown creeper climbing up the trunk that picture would be PERFECT!" The next thing we knew - we were both IN the painting and it was as real as any place we'd ever been. Suddenly, my brother pointed to the tree trunk and there was the brown creeper. We were both incredibly happy. After we watched the creeper a bit we decided to walk around because as my brother said, "It's not that often you get to be inside a painting for real." And .... a few days later I saw my first ever brown creeper in the wild!

Dragon

Odd dreams for sure. I once had a dream that I was racing around a swimming pool. (Running around the edge, not in the pool) I must have done 100 laps around that damn pool before I woke up. I swear I was just as tired when I woke up as if I had been running all night!

solosater

marius, my skin sensitivity has been getting worse as I get older but, yeah, I’ve always had it to some degree. I have trouble with tags and sometimes seams; I very rarely wear jeans because I find the thick flat felled seams very irritating. I have a serious problem with synthetics; I own very little clothing or even furniture & linens that are not natural fibers. The one chair I’ve yet to recover I generally keep a cotton sheet over for comfort.

As far as specifics:

Synthetics make me hot and I then feel a little claustrophobic. Some of them make a funny noise when they rub that drives me bananas and makes my throat itch but not in an allergic response, more of a funny vibration or bubbly feeling. Some of them (textured upholstery and bottom weight clothing) actually make my skin hurt; a nervy kind of pain that stays sore for hours after I’ve worn it or been in contact with it.

Tags irritate; I’ve been known to excuse myself from dinner out, go to the restroom and tear out the tag that’s bothering me. I have many a tee with a hole in the side seam from this. If I know I have a problem before I leave the house I go all civilized and use the scissors. In a very similar way melted thread in stretchy (generally synthetic) clothes that I’ve ironed to close to the seam will make me nuts because you really can’t pull the thread out (it’s what’s holding your clothes on;-).

Flat felled seams in jeans only really bother my girl bits but make it almost impossible to sit so I avoid them. This is not due to the fit but rather the thickness of the seams and the stiffness of the fabric.

I don’t know if I was hard to keep in clothes as a kid but my mother, brother and I always ran around the house in our underwear (we all still do but only at our own homes). I have more friends and acquaintances that have seen me in my “toga” (a very soft but solid cotton fabric about the size of a queen flat sheet worn tied around the chest or over lapped in front and tied at the neck) than have not. I’ve no shame in grabbing the mail or even running to the drive-thru late at night in my toga. I used to regularly visit a Finnish friend who had a sauna in her house and instead of dressing after the big sweat I just wrapped up in my toga and drove home that way.

I cannot sleep in clothing at all, I wrestle all night with it and get very little sleep, this is only a problem if I happen to be staying with friends and don’t get a bedroom. I don’t overnight often but my one girlfriend who lives out of town I visit three or more times a year and she gives up her bedroom so I can sleep, she can sleep anywhere so long as there is noise and I can sleep anywhere so long as I’m naked and there is no noise. We could never live together; I can hear the TV even with a fan running and a clock ticking away next to my head. Btw, incase of fire I keep the toga handily by the bed;-)

I think the skin issues are a bit of over sensitivity due to the OCD and perhaps the sensory processing issues (the noise and to some extent the tags), and a bit of over sensitivity due to Fibromyalgia and some as yet undiagnosed neurological issue (the pain and soreness with textured or stiff fabrics).

solosater

I’ve had dreams that were so real and very “normal” that I could not distinguish them from reality until something would clue me to the fact that I had dreamed it. I’ve also had very “normal” dreams that have come true but I think it is my very logical mind making a leap based on what I know will likely happen. Does that make sense? I’m not psychic or precognitive; I just see the big picture and the likely outcome of my daily life.

I’ve had dreams that my mother has had. I used to dream that my teeth were falling out and I’d try to keep them in place or put them back in my mouth but it would just make it worse. Sometimes I’d spit my teeth into my hand and I’d show them to people like it was just another thing to talk about, “Oh look, my teeth just came out.” Sometimes they would still be in my mouth and I’d look in a mirror and see them kinda’ swaying like they were all stuck together on a piece of tape so if one went they’d all go and I’d be real careful to not touch them with my tongue but they always came out. This all stopped after I had my wisdom teeth removed but I was telling my mother about the dreams and she’s finishing my sentences, she’d had the same dreams - exactly the same. Really weird but I always wondered if anyone else had had a similar dream, if it wasn’t terribly common like the naked at work/school dreams (funny, I’ve never had that one).

We also dream frequently of driving but it’s not a road trip or even running errands it’s just driving. The gears and the clutch and the gas and the brake, very detailed in the motions required to do each task, the sound of the engine, the smell of the gas, the vibration the, feel of the seatbelt even. There’s no “I’m late” stress or really any stress but it’s not a scenic drive either, just a drive. I can’t remember the last time I had that one.

My mother, my brother and my best friend growing up always would fly in their dreams but I’ve only flown once. I’d love to do that again, that’s the best dream ever!

I used to dream about my father after he died and my best friend a few years later after she died. We would just talk, very average conversations. I think it was my minds way of making it ok that they were gone, like I could still have those really mundane talks we used to have with my mind filling in their side of the conversation like they would have. This only lasted for about six months each time. I don't believe in an after life or that we can communicate with the dead, I think it's a coping mechanism.

I haven’t had any dreams for quite a while (or not vivid dreams that I remember) but the medications I’m on have that effect sometimes; I miss it. I always dreamed in color, I’ve often thought it would be cool to dream in black and white occasionally, kind of a noir look just for variety. These days I’d just like to dream!

Robindcr8l

I rarely dream and if I do, I don't usually remember them. I have also never put much stock in afterlife and communicating with dead, but I did have a strange dream experience when I was younger that made me somewhat of a believer.

My dad died of cancer when I was 12, and I always sort of resented that my mother didn't give me an opportunity to say goodbye. My dad was ill for many years, and in and out of hospitals. So the last time he went to the hospital, it never occurred to me that he would die. I had no opportunity to say or do any of the things I suppose one would say or do in that situation, and neither did he with me. Intellectually, I know my mom was just doing the best she could and thought it was the right thing to protect me, but I always felt kind of gypped.

Anyway, when I was 18 I moved into an apartment with a friend. I had lived there several months, when one night I had the most vivid dream of my life. My dad and I were in a living room (in fact, I think it was the living room of our house) only it was all white. The walls, the carpet, the furniture, the doors, the curtains...everything was white. And my dad and I were sitting on the white couch wearing all white. In my dream, he was going to the hospital for surgery that the doctors said he would for sure die without, although there was also a chance he would die during the surgery, too. In the dream, my dad and I KNEW he was going to die in the surgery. It was not a fear, or a thought, it was a knowledge. And we were hugging and both crying and saying goodbye to each other. My mom walked in and said we were being silly, that he would be fine, and we didn't bother trying to explain it all to her.

I woke out of a sound sleep sobbing for real. (I am NOT a cryer, I might add.) That dream was so real to me, that I can still feel it, still experience it all these years later. I really believe my dad came to me that night to give me the goodbye I had always felt I missed. I can certainly understand how it could be explained away with a thousand different logical and psychological explanations, but I can't stop what I FEEL I experienced that night.

solosater

Well, the fact is that you were comforted by it and one way or the other you gained a closure you had not had before; it was a good thing whether it was your mind and heart giving you what you needed or something else.

You can keep the feeling, the relief; it's yours.

solosater

I had the rare experience of getting to talk to my father, days before he died without any warning, about our respective deaths. I don’t remember now how we got on the topic but I remember saying that I could commit suicide but I’d have to clean my house first ‘cause I wouldn’t want my mother to have to deal with the flotsam and jetsam of my life after losing me to suicide but that if I cleaned my house there would not be any reason to commit suicide. I was mostly joking but I’d been back home for a year or two by that time from Vermont and still had stuff in boxes and was going a little crazy.

He said he knew what I meant; through the years he’d struggled with thoughts of just ending it all but would think of all the work he’d have to do before he could get down to the business of killing himself and he was just too lazy.

That led to a discussion of all the things we would want or need to do before we died so that our family and friend wouldn’t have to deal with it.

I said I’d have to make sure the house was spotless and the bank statements and bills and all would have to be taken care of, I’d have to do a cleanse and fast for a couple days before (you just don’t want to be found all gross like that) and I couldn’t do away with myself in a messy way of course. I know MORBID! You’d really have to know my family to understand just how not unusual a conversation like this was…

He mentioned similar things and some not so much. Like his porn collection, he’d not want anyone to be offended or upset if they had to deal with that. Yeah… Thanks dad! He was concerned too that his guitars, sheet music, poetry, and art would not get to my brother and I.

So we continued talking and got on to other topics; we were just talking, nothing unusual in my family. We have the weirdest conversations.

He died two days later. He was staying at my brother’s house at the time but my brother was staying somewhere else (I cannot remember where now or why). When my brother went over to the house early in the morning to get my dad and their tools and go to work, he found our father dead. I was not terribly surprised as my father was not then and had never been living a healthy life; it was bound to kill him. The alcohol abuse, the smoking, eating terribly, never drinking water if he could get soda or even Kool-Aid (sugar is a great substitute if you’re off you drug of choice), he was a mess. There had to be an autopsy; he’d been alone at home at the time of his death. Heart failure, likely due to his lifestyle.

I’m the youngest, my brother is eighteen months older, but I had to make all the arrangements. My brother was a mess, even my mother who had been divorced from the man for twenty some years and had remarried was a mess. I was ok. I just dealt with it and when everything was over and my brother was heading home, I pulled him to the side and told him about that conversation. I told him he needed to make sure Dad’s porn collection was disposed of before his family was let in to go over the place and that he wanted the guitars and music and all of his art to stay with us. I made him promise to clean the place up some if it needed it before Dad’s family got there. My brother shook his head at me like I was crazy but he said he’d deal with the porn and make sure we kept the things our father wanted us to have. I think it was good for him to have that to do, to know he was taking care of something our father had even jokingly worried about.

I think that conversation made it bearable for me. I felt that I had been able to do for my father what he wasn’t able to do for himself. I had closure because there were no unanswered questions, we’d said it all in our fashion and it was done.

belladonnis

Hey everyone,
Ive been catching up and this is some pretty deep stuff.
My grandmother fell ill and was in the hospital for some time untill the doctors finally told us that there was nothing that could be done for her. Her wish was to die at home, so my mom and dad brought her to our home. She soon had to have constant care and eventually was bedridden. Through all this time my family cared for her. Near the end I had to take time off work to help my mom, sister and aunt with her care. Her mind was strong where her body wasnt.
I will never forget one night around midnight my mom came to the room I was staying in and told me that Memaw woke her up and wanted to talk to all of us....and I mean all of us. So my mom called all of her close family that night. Memaw started with my mom and then talked each one of us alone. Im not sure what she said to everyone else, but with me she told me stories of when she was a girl that I had never heard and what her hopes and dreams for me were. She told me how proud she was of me. It meant so much. My brother lived far away and he didnt get there untill the next day.....but she waited and had her last visit. After she talked to all of us she didnt say anything eles just closed her eyes and rested. She died later that night with all of her family around her. She opened her eyes once to see all of us and just peacefully slipped away.
This may sound strange but it was such a wonderfull thing to be with her when she left us. It was comforting to me in a way and what made it even more so was that when she knew she was going to go she was able to talk to all of us. I will never for get that or the feeling it brought to me.

belladonnis

On the dream thing maybe some of you guys can tell me what you think it means!!!!!
I have had this same dream eversense I was a young girl. When I was young I would have it just about every night. Now its just every now and then. The dream is very vivid and troubling.
It starts and Im in a beautiful wooded area with all these animals around....almost like in Cinderella. Then behind me I notice this white line across the horizon just blank space. As I watch it I see it starts to grow eating or absorbing everything....just this white space that get bigger and bigger. I soon notice that it has surounded me like Im in a three wall white room with and open end to the outside. I also notice that all sound in the white room just disapeares as soon as its made. The open end starts to close. Some of the animals are still in the room with me and I scramble trying to chase them out as the opening gets smaller and smaller. In my mind Im trying to figure out what would happen if I get trapped in this white nothingness. Will I dissapear or will I just be......Just be in this white sound dampening room forever. All the animals are out and Im about to run out myself but this rabbit runs back in and I go for it when I finnally catch it I start to run for the opening that is almost closed. I wake up at this point. I never know if I make it out or not.

So what you guys think? What is this dream trying to tell me?

solosater

bella I think I'm the only one still up and I personally don't think our dreams are anything more than our minds working things out in our sleep, perhaps giving us motivation or relief but still just our own minds dealing with our lives as best they can.

I think too the fact that it seems to be a bad thing to be caught in the box and the fact you wake up right then means your mind is getting you out of a stressful situation.

I have to say I would love to be in a sound proof, windowless room (with the option to leave of course). Do you remember all the talk about Michael Jackson's deprivation chamber and how that was just more proof of how crazy he was? I thought it might very well be proof that he was at least a little bit sane;-)

Oh the quiet and peace! No phone ringing, no TV blaring, no one wanting to talk to me about bills or menus or errands… Perfection!

marius

Wow - such wonderful, heartfelt and interesting stories. Too much to comment on all at once but solosater, thanks for your explanation of skin sensory issues. It sounds like you've learned how to deal with it so that it doesn't cause much stress, or is at least tolerably manageable. Yes?

marius

Dragon - your running dream made me laugh. (sorry cause it prob wasn't funny to YOU.) But, I've had those kinds of dreams too and you wake up wondering why you even bothered to go to sleep. : )

Solosater - That is so cool you and your Mom had the same dream. I've known this to happen to two others - my sister and her husband. They both dreamed the exact same dream - everything the same. I LOVE the dreams where you friend and your Dad visited. No matter what dreams are, (and does anyone know for sure?), if sounds like you found a lot of joy and comfort in those dreams. How sweet and wonderful!

Robin - sounds like your dream of your Dad was a great comfort too! That is wonderful!

And, belladonnis, that is a wild dream you shared. I like it very much! Think it's interesting that you go back to the save the rabbit. That's so sweet! As for what the dream is trying to tell you? Sorry, I have no clue. But I will share a troubling recurring dream I had and how it finally seemed to resolve itself ... what I think it meant.

marius

And, my dream is taking WAAAAY to long to recount. Hmmm - I'll work on it.

But meanwhile, I think the language of dreams is like the language of art, both "speak" but not in words. So this means the interpretion of dreams is subjective. Maybe sometimes we're not supposed to know what a dream means ... not with certainty. Maybe we're just supposed to think about it and say, "Hmmm."

Will tell you Solosater - I also had dental problems and would dream of teeth falling out. It was awful but as with you, when the teeth issues began to reach resolution itrw, the dreams ended. That was nice!

solosater

Yep. I've never had it since; may start again one of these days...

I need like $4,000 of work in my mouth! Insurance will only pay to have them pulled!

Think I'll wait thanks!

solosater

marius, I'm working on a story about my experience having surgery star to finish. I'm about 1/2 -3/4 done and already have 6 pages! I'm going to post it here with a note that I will not mind if it is skipped;-)

I find those kind of stories interesting, entertaining and informative. Hopefully the rest of you will too.