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Forums - General Discussion - Day and Night

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1. 6 Dec 2011 05:08

sandm

Opening "my own channel" with thanks to pollyesther and all other friends, I have found here on TD.
The purpose of what I am going to do here is first of all to express my own thoughts - as far as they will appear and want to be captured.:)
The leading topic is "polarity" and "unity", therefore it got this name. (Not really a small issue and I for myself can get easily near to related aspects, i.e. the power of pictures, images, imagination and so on .. )
But I dont want to do a philosophical job here, because this never comes to a sufficient end- for me (myself). So I rather want to "build a tree" and a path of navigation, where its possible to get from one branch to another or from a branch to a leaf. without falling. May be this seems on the first sight far apart of the title, I am sure, it is not.
So finally, I invite all TD-users who are interested to post their consideration or what ever they want to tell on this subject.

2. 6 Dec 2011 06:19

sandm

Thought of the day: To come to a true insight, its necessary to stop thinking. The brain never will give you the answer. And when it (the brain) is permanently busy, its like a busy phone line .... a spirit cannot get through (entirely).

3. 6 Dec 2011 06:53

sandm

If you cannot find the turn-off buttom by yourself, then there is your helper inside you and he sometimes bumps your head a little bit, and you wonder, what happened. ... If the pleasant way doesnt work, then we have to take the unpleasant one (sometimes) but still are on the right direction.

4. 8 Dec 2011 04:58

sandm

Thought of the day: When there seems to be nothing around, its a good time to ask the heart. The heart always knows the true answer, but it needs silence to be heared.
If one isnt used to hear what his heart is telling, it takes more time at the beginning. This is the usual way in every process of learning, before you really get familiar to it. Sometimes an extreme state of disorder is necessary and an uncertainity about what to do. This is a stop, rest and feel signal. (If one is used to know without asking the heart, what else should heart do to get noticed?)
Spirit always communicates through the heart. And heart only can be heared, if the brain stops thinking. Now brain is silent... and cant tell what to do. Fine. Keep quiet, dont fear, be patient and listen...Finally it´ll speak to you and you can hear/feel it. Thats the beginning of planting process.
.

5. 8 Dec 2011 05:24

sandm

Now comes one of my all time favourite stories, which is a real story and I wished to remember it more often ... when its the right thought and point of view in some troubled water I have to manage.
Charlie Chaplin once had the glorious idea to participate in a contest: "Who is the best double (lookalike) of Charlie Chaplin... and he reached the forth place!
There is a big range of context in this, so I have already told the story on very different occasions, but the best head line is the question about "reality".

6. 8 Dec 2011 10:21

sandm

Something was happening today which reminds me of another story, I want to tell before I forget it. There is a family in my neighbourhood, friendly people, I sometimes meet on Sundays, and a few weeks ago we joined us by accident on a trip, and it was one of the last warm days in autumn. So we stayed together for a walk. And it became very interesting, as I said: What a fine weather today, look at the colours of the trees and the beautiful flowers over there. Sure, I saw the dog shit besides the way. But it really was not necessary to talk about, how nice this was or how awful. I would have mentioned it, if somebody was going to step on it... Well, the others saw a lot of this and other garbage. They came into a discussion how much garbage one can find outside there, and they found a lot of it and they seemed to be forced **to comment it**... So at the end of the day.. our walk, you can guess what they remembered and how they were feeling. And they resumed "not really a nice day". I for myself remembered a wonderful landscape and all what I mentioned on our way, but I wished I had made the walk alone by myself. It actually has been a real job, not to get in their point (trace!) of view. (When I am cleaning my home, sure I must see the dust, but this is another issue.)
"Energy follows attention": You get and produce that kind of energy, where you put your attention on.

7. 8 Dec 2011 15:40

pollyesther

I love this channel, sandm. Great story about point of view, and keeping (the right) things in perspective. I hope to get better at it.

8. 9 Dec 2011 06:46

sandm

Thank you pollyester, I am glad for getting feedback here, suggestions, objections ... what ever.

9. 9 Dec 2011 07:28

sandm

Thought of the day: in every deep process of transformation and consolidation there comes quiet at the beginning "the flow of tears". Dont stop it It is an important part of healing. These tears are doing a cleaning and clearing work. (Even at the physical level - toxins leave the body in the water of tears!). The whole accumulation of petrified and frozen emotions, most of them built by pain and retained tears now is melting down and finally can flow out and away... Such a huge old pain has been lying like a big stone upon the heart. (This was done in order to protect the heart, but on the other hand is the reason - one reason - why heart was not heared)... So let them come out, all of what is possible and as long as it needs. (Tears dont make pain, they wash it away.)
At this point now I ve to remember my last statement at the prayers request forum, these words I am saying now again....

10. 9 Dec 2011 08:15

sandm

Second thought of the day:)
Just another theme: I remember a time, where my brain was kidding me for a long period, and this joke is really easy. Here it goes:
You consider yourself being in a totally desperate and hopeless situation, and then start on your brain for finding a solution! As you never can find any in "such a surrounding of thinking" you have created the prove of your assumption and a permanent extension of the desperation. Moreover its an easy way to end in a "splitted" brain, as one part says "this door never will open" and the other part is looking how to do.....The real intricate and tricky side of all these brainloops is the fact, the people who are thinking in this way ("hopeless situation") mostly have to cope with some real problems, where they would need a clear brain, not a circulating machine, getting deeper in struggles.
So: What was wrong? The assumption. Its a "self-fullfilling prophesy". (No philosophy needed for understanding).
And then what? --
I cant see a solution now, but I´ll find it....If not this, then another. ...I change my point of view, and look whats then (This is an useful advice in any case, even without problems), is it a problem at all or is it an interesting combination of circumstances? and so many other possibilities, really, Ive been there:)
Well, just for the case your brain wants to start thinking.. and you have decided that it is allowed to do.

11. 10 Dec 2011 02:42

sandm

Hi pollyesther!
I have read your prayers request once again, very carefully - I hope so - and would like to give you some considerations I `ve made (besides praying, not instead of it, of course) on a practical "all day-level". And I am going to use an example for doing this.
There is a familiy, I know very well (not mine!!), they have 3 children, 2 boys and 1 girl in quiet the same age as yours and the parents are married since 12 years or so.
They have built up some rules, how to do with one another, due to similar problems they have had in the past. I like all members of the family very much and the familiy, as a whole, is some of what you can say, wow, thats it, look how they are doing.
1.) Now, first of all, they decided to create a "forum", they named it "family conference" and it is a meeting, where all of them are coming together, in their home, in the kitchen or living room, sitting all together around the table. The purpose is to take time and give a pleasant occasion to talk about every problem concerning the family or the children (not the parents!!), to discuss and to find solutions. Every member of the family has his own voice and vote. Sure .. the parents make the final decision, as they carry the responsibility for their children. As far as I remember, they did it at the beginning in a regular time schedule and "on request" - in case of emergency so to say.
Now, concerning what had happened to your son: Sure, it has been well-meant of him, to protect his cousin, but its not the way a family acts. It is essential for him to know, that what ever happens to him, there are his parents and the whole family to stand with him. And to have the trust and confidence in his parents they will do right. In this actual case, you as parents - could have talked to the cousin and then protect him from troubles as well, if this does make sense. (at least for the first time, not in general)

12. 10 Dec 2011 03:10

sandm

2.) The parents never make their discussions (or quarrels) in front of the children.
You did not tell anything about your husband. In this family I know, there is an interesting role-sharing of the parents, which meets their talents and nature.
The mother is a rather functional thinking person, makes the organisation and most of the decisions concerning the "life outside". Manages the bills, insurance contracts, the conversation with the chiildren s teachers and so on. The father is a quiet and sentimental nature, very creative (has a job in the art and science sector) and whenever one of their children needs comfort and care, then he is the first one, feeling the situation and doing. Sure the mother too, but it is not the same, and the children love it, to be held by their father and then, at any time he knows an interesting play and he is it, who is reading the good night story to the youngest.

13. 10 Dec 2011 03:28

sandm

3.) The parents always have an open and warm contact with their children. This is not in oppsite to a strong hand, they all know is there, when needed. (Mostly it then is mother`s hand, but not in every case).
There is annother important fact: The children know definitly, it is impossible, to seperate the parents in their decisions. (Children often do this: When mother has not allowed something, they then go to father and "innocently" ask the same and vice-versa).

14. 10 Dec 2011 03:42

sandm

4.) What I finally want to mention and what is really impressing,... as I guess to know about the importance.
They treat their children each in this way, which is the best one, concerning their talents and characters. So they dont get all the same. They are encouraged and provided each in its own fields. But for all of them the leading "subject" is creativity. They dont want their children to become a .."looks like" .. they do all what is necessary for finding their own unique way.

15. 10 Dec 2011 03:45

sandm

Sorry, if too long .. hopefully not boring. My thoughts are with you.

16. 10 Dec 2011 17:33

pollyesther

It's not too long and definitely not boring, Thank you sandm! This is a wonderful confirmation. I have been wanting to start doing family meetings for a long time, and especially recently. We spend a lot of time together as a family, but we are all in different directions doing different things. It will be a task to gain cooperation from everyone at the same time, but this is definitely what we have been missing as a family. Thank you again for taking time to think of us=)

17. 11 Dec 2011 00:14

sandm

Thank you pollyesther for feedback, and first I`ve read the time:) In any case, cooperation is an important matter, as well as the used connection, which only can be really effective by doing at the same time, as you mentioned.
Back later, some thoughts for today in the queue.

18. 11 Dec 2011 08:59

sandm

Thought of the day:
Ego, what is it? There are tons of books on this subject, more or less helpful or confusing. In one sentence: It is that part of us, which is being in a constant stream of judgement.
Darkness: First the seeds need the darkness (in the earth) to germinate. If you would lay them into the sunlight they wouldnt. (Where is the embryo before it is born?) While being in the darkness the seeds carry an "inner light" and this is their potential. All huge plants once have been such "a seed in the darkness."
Saison: Now its winter. This is the time for resting, recreation! retire and inner view. So what is better, summer or winter? It is a circle, but a vivant circle of "transformation", a cycle. The "cycle" (all saisons, the whole) is the female aspect, the "change" is the male aspect. So whats better?:) This is only one perspective of much more possible, as i.e. both aspects are containing the other one too. And it has a "fractal structure", that means, the same structure can be found at a greater level (or a smaller one), look at a poinsettia or a snowflake.
If we are able to see, that it always are different aspects of the same whole (not opposites, but necessary parts), then we have reached a real transformation of ourself and have jumped out of polarity.
From the bottom of the triangle (polarity) to the top of it!! That is the three. But on this level then ... it is the "one", the whole triangle ... and this view has been the transformation.

19. 11 Dec 2011 09:44

sandm

So what is better? Increase or descent, creation or destruction, your right hand or your left one:) Now we are at that point to answer, it depends on what we what to do!! Do we want to destroy the relicts of a ruin for instance in order to build a new house, or do we destroy the house, and make a photography to prove our "power".
So what is better? War or peace ....? If you ask people all over the world they want to have peace. So why dont we have peace? " We could have peace, if only the OTHERS would, ....", that is the common answer. We are not able to see our dark side, we only can see it in the others.
Looking at the dark side: Think of the seeds in the earth. There is a potential not yet revealed, the curtain in down. But it depends on our free will what we are going to do: Opening the curtain or just saying now I can feel my violence, I´ll throw some stones onto the neighbour`s window.

20. 11 Dec 2011 23:06

sandm

Hi pollyesther,
I forgot to say: In a task on getting things together it is very helpful to make (draw) a picture. A big one, on paper... in the size of a "flipchart" and then fix it on a wall at your home, so you always can see it.
At this picture you show your familiy, you can draw circles or symbols for each person. You put yourself and your husband in the middle and your children "in front of you" - the whole familiy should come to a shape of a circle approximately. Then you draw lines between the person, show the connection. Not to many at first. The main connetions are four lines, from the parents - in unity - to the four children. You can use different colours, if its necessary to show special "qualities" (characteristics). Outside of the family ... near the edge of the paper .... you draw the friends of the children. May be there are too many friends and therefore your children are most of the time outside of the family. As long as they are children this should not happen. When you have made this picture, you can see more easily if this is the problem (or one of it) and then the children have to give up some connections - at least for a while, during your familiy is being consolidated. In any case the "FAMILY picture" is keeping an entire and "structured" overview, And you can (should) work with it. That means, making changes, corrections, updates, improvements and so on. If these alterations get to many, you just draw a new picture. It is very important that it remains pinned on the wall, to be constantly present. May be it would be helpful to make another additional drawing just for the parents, to visualize their male and female aspects and their working together .. anyway, for the beginning its better not too much at once, but starting on the head of the family- the parents, then the children.
Would like to know how you can handle with it. My heart is with you.