ZeroMerc

I just want to feel like I get up in the morning for a reason. is that so bad?

matthew

I am right with ya merc... You are not alone... better days will come... you will see...

:)

Nikkie

hey you zero:> time for a break????????? a change??????? just get your bum out of bed tommorrow and live:> take a chance:> be bold and brave and do some thing you never did before:>
I volunteer at a womans homeless shelter. its the best to help women who need a friend:>

belladonnis

Hey zero matthew is right we all feel that way. Sometimes I feel that Im barely treading water and if I dont get my feet under something solid I will drown! But I keep on swimming and I find that Im always closer to the shore than I thought!

sheftali52

ZeroM, sorry you are feeling down. We all feel that way at times, I believe. Often the best way to feel "up" again is to reach out, as you are doing. Sending good vibes your way.....

matthew

I could do my famous pole dance...

ZeroMerc

I just feel totally lost, cant commit to anything. want to be with somebody... but i just go a divorce about 9 months ago so i think its too soon.

I hate not feeling in control. I am usually in charge. I dont like this feeling. I want a new start!!!

Login

Stay with us, ZeroMerc ... I've had at least one proposal of marriage on this site! LOL. Seriously though, I understand what you're going through ... it happens to many of us, for varying reasons. The trick is to start doing something new ... not something that consumes you but just enough to take your mind off your woes, for a good part of the day. You'll come through it ... with a little help from your friends and something to keep the sad thoughts out of your mind (or overshadow them, at least)..

marg

Hey.. I think what ZeroMerc needs is a holiday !

I had a great time last time we went on a trip - was that your car we all piled into, Login ? I'm guessing it hasn't recovered yet - I know my ear hasn't [that Qsilv has got a MEAN left elbow].

What I was thinking was, we could all go on a train.. and as Vacations is the current focus, what better time ?

That way, I reckoned we could do different views out of different windows, or have a look see what was happening in various compartments, the dining car, the saloon, or out the back where us smokers hang on to the rail for a bit of fresh air ?

'Course, if you want to bring a special person along, well that's fine - there's goin' to be a lot more space than in that car we travelled through the Dolomites in, and there's probably a better chance of NOT getting lost again..

... um.. what would the destination be ??

indigo

I love your idea marg!

marg

.. will you be going First Class, indigo ? (just asking, in case you can take some of my extra bottles of vodka.. sorry, luggage.. you get more room in 1st)

marius

Two stories for you ZeroMerc:
1. Last time I felt as you describe, my alternative medicine doctor said, "Confusion is misunderstood. It's an extremely high state of mind, a sacred time actually." Then he prescribed: yoga classes, Qi Gong, walks in the out of doors, vitamins, and forgiveness meditations." Gotta say - ALL of it helped. Oh - he also sent me off to try various body-work "therapies." There are MANY of these, my personal favorites are: shiatzu, Reiki and reflexology. (And, btw, reflexology has finally been endorsed by some main-stream medicine folks. It's specialized foot and hand massage.)

2. When is the right time to date after divorce? I don't know. Started dating my spouse one month after his divorce and we married four years later. Should add - we went to pre-marriage counselling and that was truly wonderful because it alerted us to the issues we might have and things we might do to solve them. It was amazingly accurate and nine yrs of marriage have been happier than I ever thought possible.

Moral: Have no idea ... but sending you all the best wishes. And please keep us posted because as you can already see - a lot of people care!!!! : )

Login

Well said ... all good advice. I'll add one thing ... exercise. It needn't be aerobics or any other form of programmed exercise. Marius mentioned walking in the outdoors and I can whole-heartedly recommend it for airing the brain as well as the body. Exercise of this kind, especially if done at a brisk pace, lifts me out of the doldrums without fail. You may have to force yourself to do it, but it does work!

Login

Marg, I'm all for accompanying you (and anyone else who's willing) on a TD train ride. Perhaps we can persuade ZeroMerc to come with us. I'm afraid it would have to be a train ride, as the TD drive through the Dolomites just about put the old jalopy into retirment ... it was overloaded (you didn't need to bring a crate-full of your favourite tipple, marg).

Now if I remember rightly, I ruined Solosaters General Discussion Forum - (My Favorite Drink-What's Yours?) on the last TD excursion so, this time, let's lay down a few ground rules:
Firstly we should START A NEW THREAD for the train journey.
There should be no excess drinking and each person must only bring as much tipple as they can carry themselves.
All TDers who would enjoy visiting new places (and those who can't, for whatever reason) will be cordially invited.
There must be a drawing for at least every third comment (strictly no rude ones).
Finally, all greivances and ill feeling towards others, mut be set aside for the entire journey.

Who's for it?

Normal

Zero: Hang in there, we're rooting for you. I had depression based on my personal situation for a while. Cried so much during the day, even the dog became unsympathetic. Finally beat it by involvement with others, though that came to me slowly. Things even worse later, but I weathered it all well. Would recommend A Course in Miracles, but that's a tough go on your own. Maybe writers who have commented on it would help: Marianne Williamson & Gary Renard. Best wishes to you.

Login: Love your vacation plan, though I'm working on one of my own and will be too busy to join in. Your rules are certainly excellent. Have fun!

Dragon

Zero, I haven't battled depression as some of the others have (I feel very fortunate in that regard) but I think marius's suggestions are great ones. Yoga has always given me a wonderful sense of doing something good for myself and the endorphins released from such activities and others are always good. Keep coming to this site if the act of drawing gives you pleasure and keep chatting with us. I've never found such a goodhearted group of people as there is here and I know many of would really like to help. I think I can safely say we are happy to help you and offer any support we can to you.
I'm afraid I can't tell you if you're ready to get out there in the dating world again, I'm not sure anyone's truely ever completely ready for the dating world (at least I never was).
I do know someone who was having a lot of trouble letting go of previous relationships (especially anger and hurt at his ex-wife). He went to 2 or 3 therapy sessions and that really helped him. Just having someone to tell his problems who he knew wasn't going to judge him helped and the therapist was able to open his eyes about why he wasn't letting go of feelings he no longer had a use for. Therapy isn't for everyone, but if you're really having trouble it may help.

Dragon

Oh and Marg, I am soooo on board for your train trip. (Login's plan of us only bringing as much liquor as we can carry ourselves might be thrown off a bit. A full grown Dragon can carry quite a few bottles of Cosmopolitan mix! Hehehe)

belladonnis

Hey zero I know a thing or two about depression. I am also divorced and have been for a few years. I was very down and upset over my divorce naturally but it seemed that I was constantly getting hit by one thing after another after my divorce. A year after the divorce I woke up at 4 in the morning with my house on fire, by the grace of god I was able to get myself and my 2 girls out unhurt. Several other things hit me but my depression kicked into over drive after a creep in the Wal mart parking lot stuck a gun to my head and said he was going to blow my brains out in front of my kids because all the money I had to give him was 3 dollars! I felt like a target, unlucky, not capable of caring for my kids....you name it. I went to counseling and It was my salvation! Im depression free now and so happy about life! Going to counseling taught me how to cope with the little dings that life throws at us. If you feel that your feelings dont improve or get worse I highly recommend it! Also reaching out the way you have here is a great way to start! This site has amazed me at how people you have never met and will more than likely never meet actually care and give you support!

ZeroMerc

well... I feel like a schmuck.

I was not really trying to have you all post. Sorry I spewed. Thank you all for your kind words but please just delete this post.

I really am not an attetion grabber. I will fade into the net again.

***Delete Thread***

matthew

Like I said, Been there done that... I find this site to be a great place to share my life & feelings...

Because of that, there are those that think I seek sympathy & attention... Don't worry about what others think... In the big picture, what we think in meaningless... but our support just might mean everything...

Do you know what I mean...