marg

I really liked the white toad lily !

solosater

They're very pretty.

LaDonna

Here is my go at it

Not like blazing feelings of high school fame
Without the camera on command
I remember the feeling when you first took my hand
You spoke words to ember the flame
Labor without any shame
And like thunder they’ll yell your name
Your words gave me strength to take a stand
I will be the best Quarterback in this land
I had to be different not just the same
So I put science to the game
And from morning until night I was in pain
Never to beat to the old band
For my mother’s love is on my hand

anotherronism

LaDonna. I HATE petry. But I LOVE this!

I don't know the right words... Something about pantameter. But there is aa cadence and simplicity of phrase that I really enjoy here. Of course, I don't know anything about what I'm talking about. But - I do know what I like when I see it.

Great effort!

Dragon

I believe the phrase you're looking for is Iambic Pentameter. I'm not sure if LaDonna's was in it but it was lovely all the same.

Robindcr8l

I just wanted to bring this original idea of Ron's to the forefront again, so everyone who has joined in on Thinkwrite recently can see what Ron originally intended for this "experiment in flash fiction". I know that things can evolve and change but if we read his first comment in the thread, he had only ONE rule...that an EXACT word count be used. It makes the challenge greater, because it requires extreme editing. I think this is what Midnightpoet was trying to get across with that comment of hers last week. I haven't been feeling creative enough to write lately, but have been reading all of the submissions. I enjoy this thread even more than the art gallery. I am so impressed by all of the creative talent out there. So carry on however you see fit, but just know that Ron, the genious who thought this all up, was hoping we'd stick to an exact word count. Thanks.

Peasy

Thanks, robin.

Doug

Robin: Isn't it rather odd, the mastermind behind the whole ThinkWrite genre was talking about a 500 word count. Now I don't feel bad having thought it could be stretched a bit. Thanks for bringing back Ron's original. When I have time I want to digest that whole thread. Now on to Giraffe's list...

Robindcr8l

Doug, it's true Ron started with a higher word count, but over time, he grew fonder of the shorter list. I don't think the length is too important, but the shorter it is, the greater the challenge. I think his point, though, was the editing. It is really kind of fun to edit the heck out of your work to get that exact word count.

chelydra

so this is where thinkwrite began... just pulling it up to be seen

Qsilv

mm hmm... well the subject of editing, word count, exactitude, and rules for rules' sake has come 'round yet again, so, besides just enjoying the read-through of these early gems, I'll leave a couple quick observations on the altar --


1. - altho in post #1 ron mentioned having previously written a couple of 500 word pieces, his first challenge to us (and to himself) was to write a 200 word piece.

2. - for me, personally, the work of editing is never about achieving a magic word count (I find that part easy enough to tinker into being), it's more an issue of "editing the heck out of my work" to get each of the 10 listed words incorporated so appropriately that they don't feel forced.


;>

anotherronism

Doug and Robin... Really?

I'm gonna try so so hard to not be mad but kinda cute and altogether strange instead.

Are you actual readers? I mean, isn't it all a little fuzzy with you?

Do you, like, formulate "instant" opinions?

That's so cute.

Qsilv. Thanks for the save. But it's all right there.

I mean, like, d'uh.

"500 words" was in an initial post.

And if I were a casual newspaper-style reader I might go on to make an argument, say, that that was the initial intent.

But I actually DO read. And not just my own stuff.

But your true selves are exposed.

You cannot be a writer if you cannot read.

Try reading.

It's actually fun.

(And my Dad's keyboard sucks such man-ass. It really does!)

anotherronism

And Robin - I just did it myself. I perused. I didn't read. You had my back there and I threw you right under the bus.

I beg forgiveness and offer no excuse. But will you forgive me my trespass in lumping you in with the big, bad, mean old Doug?

And Doug. I love you dude.

What say you to that! Ha!

anotherronism

And a note of thought to KMKagle. It never occurred to me before tonight that she was, in fact, the very first person to ever post a story to ThinkWrite.

That's gotta be worth a gold watch, or a coin at least. Yay!

Doug

Ron: You really are a ghost from the past. Making lovey-dovey comments to mean-old-Doug from the first ThinkWrite. I love you too. Now get back to the present. Maybe you could join the rest of us "in the future" back at the current ThinkWrite. I could deliver that gold watch to KMKagle for about another 4 days for you then I'm out of here. (Yes we are neighbors and she introduced me to all this insanity (and fun) way back when. Cheers!

giraffe

Screw the word count. It has nothing to do with anything.

SWEETIE

I confess. I'm a Dolphin. It took me years to stop being an aloof rascal and come out as the Dolphin I am. My best friend hangs with the White Toad Gang on 44th. Their random acts of violence bother me, but he's still my buddy.

Henceforth we have agreed that Dolphins and White Toads will no longer do drive-by shootings. So what if we're gay. It's irresponsible to hurt kids over that. We Dolphins are the first gay gang in Detroit. White Toads hate us, but why endanger innocent kids over it?

At least we agreed on that one thing, so I hope the neighborhood sleeps more soundly tonight. I did too much cocaine and now I have a toothache. Anyone got some downers?

Here, sweetie, shove this spear in your arm. Now you're mine.

giraffe

He shoved his........ in my.......... and showed me what love is. No understanding of womanhood at all. Pig! Maybe that's why he transgendered last year. It's a reality I can't understand - much less his parents or his kids. They used to call him "Mom", but now we are the 2 dads. "Mommy is a man now."

"We still love you as much as ever, but we might have to live in different places for awhile. Your daddies are having an argument and we need some time apart. Your other daddy doesn't have the parts I like anymore and his affection isn't what I want. We'll work something out."

"Why does it smell like poopie in here, Daddy?"

"Your other Daddy and I will clean that up. Let's go put you to bed."

"Daddy, why do men look like there's something in their pockets - but it's in the middle?"

"Honey, it's because we have penises. Mommy has one now too. Do you want to see mine?"

"No, I just want you to read me a story."

"OK, it's called 'Metamprphpsis' by a guy named Franz Kafka.........

giraffe

But your true selves are exposed.

You cannot be a writer if you cannot read.


And you still live with your Dad?????? That exposes your true self.

anotherronism

Giraffe.

I wanna just say "yawn" again. And for the same reasons. But some people I respect have actually taken issue with that.

Being "at" my Dad's house doesn't mean I live there. That he's in his seventies and I drive 110 miles to go there to paint his barn because he has no business on a ladder and using his computer in the night - well I can see how you've put two and three together and come up with your brilliant assault on me.

But again - if you actually "read" anything you'll notice you missed, among the myriad posts, that I'm an unemployed drunk living in my sister's basement.

I personally would've gone with that to "attack the person" but then again - I'm not a dumbass. You are.

anotherronism

"Metamprphpsis"

OMFG. This guy is funny!